Bad Blogger

Sorry to be AWOL.

Mum has been very needy lately.  I had hopes that after her memory assessment, and the prescribed antidepressants, she might rally, but after a brief brightening, things have deteriorated.  Her memory is worsening, her susceptibility to panic over minor issues has increased, and she is more OCD and repetitive than ever.  I have been in touch with Adult Services, but she must agree to any help.  She will not agree.  She does not, understandably, want to move either into a home, or into sheltered accommodation, but neither will she entertain the idea of anyone other than me coming into her home to help.  She is a Daily Mail reader, sadly, and thus convinced that Britain is populated by thieves and ne’er-do-wells out to fleece OAPs in their own homes  under the guise of being carers.  I have tried to explain that I am feeling unable to cope, but she cannot remember, or even take in, that fact and we have the same conversation over and over again until I feel I will succumb to complete insanity before her. I don’t know what to do.

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About George

A friendly Sociophobe
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3 Responses to Bad Blogger

  1. Sadly there aren’t any easy solutions to this one. Your sense of duty won’t let you do anything else but try and handle this the best you can but it plays havoc with your own mental well-being. Making yourself ill isn’t going to help your mother in any shape or size but she is probably no longer able to take that in. All I can do is to say I know how you feel and I’m thinking of you. So should you be!

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  2. Gill says:

    Bad blogger? No way….dutiful daughter who is going as far as she can to do what’s best.

    Sadly, there’s no easy answer to this one is there? But for sure you can’t go on like this or you too will be in need of medical attention.

    Does it make it easier to tell yourself that your mother is no longer the person that she was, for surely, she would not want her daughter to put herself through this? That she isn’t lucid to be able to judge what is reasonable? After all, if, in her mind, she has forgotten that you live so far away, then it might seem ok to expect you to turn up so frequently and for her to manage without additional care. But you don’t live close by, you can’t pop in every day and you have a family and responsibilities of your own.
    I fear it is time to begin to make decisions which are not only best for her but best for you too. Sadly, we can’t always have everything our own way and ultimately, the decisions are not ours to make but those who love and care for us enough to know what’s best.

    In the meantime, sending virtual hugs….

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  3. knitmanyarn says:

    Very easy for me to say than for you to do, but I think you need to pout you first because there is no point in YOU going down too. This is an APPALLING disease for sure but I think it is clearly too much for you to deal with as is. Force the issue is the only way forward and do NOT entertain guilt. I would hate myself or for John to be in the same situation. My very best to you. xo

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